Why Settle for Mediocrity?

Earlier today I was thinking about a conversation I had with first man I dated when I got back to Columbia.  
We had been having problems in our relationship because of some very basic differences in how we lived our lives and perceived ourselves.  
He considered himself "out" because close friends, a few family members, and a handful of work peers knew he was gay.  But by my standards of being out,  I felt he was still hiding under some blankets in the back of his closet.   It was extremely difficult to forge a healthy relationship with a man who was "kinda out" or "out" only when it served his needs(if you know what I mean).
When we would be out in public he was constantly paranoid of what people were thinking about us. And if I leaned in to tell him something, he would freak out because he was afraid that I might try and kiss him. 
It was honestly the most ridiculous behavior I had seen in years. I had actually forgotten what it was like to be around a gay man who was not comfortable with himself or his sexuality.  And I just could not relate.
My favorite memory, and I say this facetiously, is when I ran into him about an hour after I had left his bed one morning at Starbucks.  
We were both grabbing a coffee, not knowing the other would be there, when I saw him and one of his coworkers.  He noticed it was me and nervously introduced me, but I might as well had been some fraternity brother he had randomly run into that morning.  It was so awkward that I half expected him to slap me on the back or give me a high-five.  I literally could not believe that the same man who had been lying in my arms two hours earlier was now acting like I was some casual acquaintance or even worse, one of his "buds".
This sort of behavior was a constant bone of contention between us.  But I digress.
One night we had been arguing because I had told him he really wasn't "out" if he wasn't willing to bring me to a social function at work.  I then went into one of my diatribes about gay equality and how the south is still in the prehistoric age and how we deserve the same rights to love and express our love for one another.
His only response was that he was fine with the way things were here and if I didn't like it I should move.
I was disgusted.  I couldn't understand how someone could not only settle for mediocrity, but would actually welcome it.  And at that moment I realized that I too was settling for mediocrity by being with him.
His being "fine with how things are"  is a perfect example of the apathetic nature of many of the gay men I have met here.  
And it is a huge problem for me.  
How can things ever change if the gay men who live here in the South are ok being second class citizens and are ok with "how things are".  
Well I'm not ok with how things are and the last person I should have to plead my case to is another gay man. 
If we, as gay men, aren't on the same page then how can we expect society to grant us the liberties and respect we deserve?!!
We cannot sit back and place blame unless we too accept some of the credit for why things haven't progressed any further towards our own equality.
They always say that change starts at home.  
Look at yourself and your life and decide...
Have you settled for mediocrity or are you living the life that you deserve to live?