Are you there God, it's me Margaret...I mean, Doug.

I often fear that I will end up alone if I stay here in South Carolina.
It seems that every man I find myself attracted to is either straight or married to a woman(most of these men are actually gay).  I find myself more likely to meet a Sasquatch than a masculine successful confident out and proud gay man here.  It literally is like finding a needle in a hay field.
And I don't think it is asking a lot to want to feel that connection to someone.  A connection that doesn't involve meeting online or in some random place like a gym locker room or sauna. This being the main place I have found that not only closeted or DL players score, but also men that are out and known to be gay in the community.   I just don't get it.  Or do I?
Because of the lack of acceptance here by society, there really is a lack of self pride in most gay men with whom I come into contact.  They have settled into a social existence or lack thereof that revolves around online hookups or gym stalking.
Now don't get me wrong. I too have succumbed in my own way to this lack of a social outlet.  
I recently became a member of a site called Grindr that literally tells you how close in proximity in actual "feet" you are to another gay man.  I couldnt believe this existed, and quite frankly, it is a little creepy to me.  Especially when you see the pool in which you have decided to take a swim.
All I can say is, fellas, ask someone close to you if your picture looks odd or weird or scary before you post it to your profile.  And stop describing yourself as "average". Who wants to be with someone who is average or even worse, would be so self deprecating as to describe himself in such a way.  And the lack of profile pictures just supports my theory that most gay men here are still in hiding.
In any major city, you can go on the same site and find headshots of every member along with an accurate profile.  True, it's probably a pic of some porn star or someone else completely, but at least one can hope that the guy looks like this.
My favorite question from the perfect stranger(without a face picture) is..."looking?", which means are you looking for sex.  It honestly makes me laugh. 
It's not that I'm above a sexual escapade with a hot stranger. I mean I'm not a prude or anything. But I have reached the point in my life where random sex or the casual hookup just doesn't interest me.  
I want more.  And by more I mean that I want to connect mentally and emotionally to another man.  I want handholding and and the occasional wink when others are around to let me know that I am with him.  And that takes a very secure man. The kind of man who isn't afraid to live and moreso isn't afraid to love.
Does that kind of gay man exist here?